Fear of success No more HAPPY MEALS for me!

I am nearly a month into this new life style change, and I am going to be very honest here, I am AFRAID!   
   I have always tried to do this in fits and starts, but never was I totally as serious and focused as I am right now, but I recognize all of the signs and I am at a crucial point in this and it could all fall apart if I am not careful.  
  I weighed 125 today, I worked over ten hours today and I am not exhausted, I have been meditating and trying to find peace in me, even if its not all ways in the real world I exist in.  I ate all of my steamed broccoli for dinner.  Thats a milestone for me!
  Yet I still feel scared, because this new idea of me would have to be a positive person and believe in herself.  I no longer will be holding everybody's rapt attention as I complain about my various ailments.  I really no longer want to be the depressed exhausted person in the room.  I also have miles to go because I am planning on doing this not for a month or a year but for the rest of my life.  My Great grandparents, God bless them ate this way, and I remember as a little child, them eating Blue Berry's and they lived to be 90, and 99.
   It would be so easy for me to take the lazy way out and go back, I really could, but I pray I won,t.  My excuse for living kind of an underachieving life would be gone, no more excuses!
  I know that the benefits from this plan are out weighing the pull to eat bad, but this is all new to me.
   I was a fast food girl, and I thought it was my treat, my comfort, and my duty, especially to McDonald's to go there and spend my hard earned money supporting them.  The Happy meal was IT for me!  So sad, that I will have to spend years on my "Super Foods" plan to undue the damage that a lifetime of fast food, and junk food has done to me!
  You might not get how scared I am, but the pull of addiction is so hard to resist that it has to be a daily affirmation for me, especially as the pain fades, or the eyes clear up.  meditation everyday, praying everyday, resisting pressure, everyday.  Setting the time and money aside to make sure healthy food is always in the house, and taking the time to prepare it even when I am tired.   Thanks for looking in,  Mrs Cook