So I am blowing off my Dr. appointment tomorrow, I have some mixed feelings because this is a very real choice I am making.
It fly's in the face of conventional wisdom.
I think I knew before I even started the journey, back in October that I would throw off the medication. It felt freeing. But at that time I had no idea of the road ahead, and I went against my own better judgement and feelings, and started the medication anyhow, I felt helpless. I felt resentful.
My vision was the first thing to go, then I felt so sick that I couldn't eat. Then the pain started, I tried to tell the Dr. what was going on but she said "Its only your Diabetes" I tried to argue, but she would not listen. They then put me on Insulin, I learned to stab myself with the needle, and I was doing it, but the pain especially in my legs got worse and worse.
All I lived to do was lie down and go to bed, from the time I woke up, to the time I went to bed all I thought about was sleep. I dreaded nine o clock because it was shot time. I felt like death.
I went back to the Free clinic, and they gave me pain medication with side effects that were exactly what I was trying to get away from,I had another Dr with the same line, "Its only your Diabetes." I knew it was not.
Now I am not going to lie, at this point I had been sick a very long time. I knew what nerve pain felt like, I have written about some of this before. This pain was different, I felt as if my legs were made of wood, The pain in my feet felt as if glass was being shoved into them , I cried so much, I tried to have my husband rub out my feet, but it hurt so bad he could not even touch them! I still ate all of the wrong foods, I was existing, but the life was draining out of me.
I decided to cut out my medication at that point, I wanted to see what would happen. It was about at that point that I wrote my first blog, about the number 543 a number I couldn't live with. It was also at that time that found a website called "DEATH TO DIABETES" It validated my issues with medication. My sons Girlfriend also brought me a DVD about Raw foods. I just only recently watched it, and it was about sort of a Diabetes camp where for thirty days the people ate healthy raw live food and dropped their numbers down to where they did not need medication, or much less of it. More validation.
So for the past Two and a half months I have totally changes my diet, I eat no white sugar or flour. I am pretty much gluten free, I eat no White unprocessed foods. I eat no red meat, just a little chicken and fish. I stopped drinking white milk. You can go back to my shopping list blog to see what I call my "Super Food Plan"
I try to eat everyday, Spinach, an Apple, Almonds,and Berrys, And I drink unsweetened Almond milk. I use Stevia in the Raw as my sweetener. I also have cut out caffeine by at least 90%. I know that was causing nerve pain.
I am reading so much about nutrition, and I am excited about the results I am having.
I have not checked my sugar numbers as often as I should be, But I know how I feel. I have dropped my weight down to 125 pounds, I have energy again. I am excited about things I had let go because I had no energy before.
So this choice I am about to make feels right to me. Because living on the medication was not living, By making food my medication, I have changed my standard of living. I had to, because it could not be half and half. Either I was going to go 100% healthy lifestyle, or I was going to be miserable on the medication and dying anyhow. I don't feel like I am dying now. I can see clearly again, I don't just want to sleep anymore. I feel as if I have had a second chance.
And now that I have been on this plan for a while it has become very easy for me to pass up all of the GARBAGE I ate before, the food that I thought I could not live without,and the food I would never touch before, has become my lifeline. I honestly do not miss a thing.
One of the best things is that my husband is also coming on board, He is really trying to get better as well.
So I stand by my choice, I will get stronger and stronger. I will give myself a year, and I f I can't make this happen perhaps I will go back, but I don't see that happening, I don't want to see that happen.
Thanks for looking in, Mrs cook
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