Help, but don't push!

I want to write about people today who are well meaning, and who want to help you, but don't really listen to you.
   People sometimes get an idea in their head about what is best for you, and some of that is based on judgement of what the person they want to help needs, but maybe that is not the direction they really need to go in. 
  After all don't know what goes on behind closed doors when we make judgement calls on other people lives.   Everybody complains at one time or another, but sometimes thats mostly venting, real solutions have to be based on reality. 
   We are adults now, I have been in the working world 30 years, been married to the same man 24 years, I have a 22 year old son,  I have seen the best and the worst life has to offer.   In no way as I get older do I think I know everything.  I don't, but I know my own mind, and I know how to follow my instincts.  I admit I make lots of mistakes, but in general I live a decent, productive life, despite a lack of finances, and a disease I hate.  
   One thing I really hate is being told what I have to do, I will take anybody's advice, but I like to make up my own mind about things.  One thing I won't accept is pity, as I move through this life I have struggled, but I don't like to give in to depression and illness, I have both, but I want to be seen as a survivor, and a fighter.  
   I have found that the worst things that happened to me, happened because I did something that went against my better judgement,  and I paid a heavy price for it.
   Some people get really mad if you don't do exactly as they think you should,  In the means of trying to help you, maybe they are trying to assert some control over you, I don't know.  I guess if you really want to be somebody's friend, and you feel the need to help them, then don't attach strings to it, helping as a means to control people is not really helping.  
   Now on the other hand, I am not saying I don't appreciate people wanting to help me, and I really enjoy lending a hand when I can,but it has to be balanced out, so that nobody feels pushed, or guilty either way.  Again life has to balance out, that's what real friendship is all about. 
  Friends do this for each other all of the time, giving and taking, one moment listening to your laughter, one moment drying your tears.  
   I pray I do both, as a friend.   Thanks for looking in, Mrs Cook